““If you have curly hair you either love it or you hate it.””
The most common comment I get from strangers about my hair. There have definitely been moments in my life when I have hated my hair and coveted those girls with gorgeous, straight locks. But for the most part I love it. I love that
I only have to cut it every 6 months
I only have to wash it every three days
I can put it in a bun and it looks like I am going to prom
I can get ready in under 15 minutes
My husband loves my hair too. On occasion I have worn it straight, but it is met with sad eyes when the Dude comes home. He fell in love with a curly haired girl and he would like to keep me that way. I'm not saying he wouldn't love me if all my hair fell out {cue Randy Travis}. He just really prefers it curly.
No matter how comfortable I am with my appearance and the state of my hair, haircuts have always been a bit dramatic. I have never walked out of a salon with a smile on my face. In my early years I would leave with tears in my eyes. Every.time. Now I am less sensitive about it all, but it is generally a mass dash to get home and wash my hair again before anyone can see me. I always either leave with it straight... which is a problem, or with a fro, also a problem.
My most recent hair cut experiences have been extra frustrating though, mostly because I am now resolved to keeping my hair curly, if only for my sweet husband's sake. The conversation with the hair dresser would go something like this
What can I do for you today?
just need a trim, I want to keep it long. And I always wear it curly. Every day. My husband hates it straight.
OK, let me show you how to wear it straight.
.....
An hour and forty dollars later I come home disappointed because while it may look good that day {to me at least} I know I won't be replicating it.
These experiences have led me to pretty much avoiding the salon. I had let my hair grown down to my waste, longer than it has ever been before. And while I kind of like the bohemian, wild girl look, I knew I needed to get some of the length off.
In a couple of weeks I am scheduled to have a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. I have been told that for a couple of weeks after the surgery I won't be able to lift my arms passed my elbows. So my friend is going to come over and wash my hair for me. While I am sure she would have gladly wrestled 18 inches of tangles, I thought I wold spare her the pain and cut a little off.
In November, I was Christmas shopping in Wichita {the big city nearby} with my girl friends. One this particular day, my hair looked like trash. I hadn't washed it in a while and I was rocking the day three side pony. I didn't really think anything of it until a sweet, beautiful girl came up to me in World Market and hand me her card and with a genuine smile said, "I love your hair!" And she walked away. Her card read, "The curl advocate."
It was serendipity at it's finest. I knew immediately that I needed this lady. I called a few weeks later to schedule an appointment. Due to babysitter cancelations and tornado warnings, we had to reschedule twice, but I finally got in to see Jamie, the curl advocate on Friday.
As she snipped away at my dry curls she recounted my haircut history in great detail. It was the same as hers and countless numbers of curly haired women. We let out hair grow because haircuts are always a tad traumatic. It's so true!
Jamie stepped me through a process of caring for my hair that was revolutionary to me, and when she had finished I had the soft, defined curls that had always eluded me. I walked out that day with a huge smile on my face and walked around owning Wichita for the rest of the day!
Yesterday was my first day to implement the process by myself. And while it wasn't exactly like it was stepping out of the salon, it was close. And with practice I think I will get there.
So, for all you curly girls out there...
The process involves Diva Curl. I bought a starter pack, but Jamie said a good start is the no poo, conditioner, and gel.
Step 1: Scrub with the shampoo. Really scrub. This shampoo is sulfate free and all natural. It doesn't have any waxes to leave a build up. Scrub the scalp a lot and keep adding water. The rinse out a scrub again. Keep scrubbing and adding water until your arms hurt. Leave the shampoo in while you finish taking your shower. Then rinse until you hear a squeak!
Step 2: Condition. Flip your head over in the shower and get your hair super duper wet. Put less conditioner than you think you need in your hand and work through the hair, Do not touch the scalp! As you work the conditioner in, take handfulls of water and splash your hair. You need your hair to stay wet. keep working in the conditioner and adding more water until your hair feels slippy, like seaweed. Do not rinse this out.
Step 3: With your hair dripping wet and still in the shower with the water on work your fingers through your hair to separate each curl. This is called "ribboning". Now you are going to style your hair in the shower. Add some more water, water droplets should be dripping off the ribbons every second. Take the gel in your flat hands and basically wipe it on your hair. Don't scrunch and don't run your fingers through it, just touch the gel to the hair. The water will pull the gel from your hand to the hair. Do this in sections until all of the hair was been gelled. Dob't forget to keep adding water by handfuls, it needs to stay dripping wet. Don't touch gel to the scalp.
Step 4: Step out of the shower with your head still dripping and still upside down and wrap loosely in a microfiber turbine. Leave it here for 20-30min, Get dressed, put your makeup on, throw in a load of laundry...
Step 5: Upside down, gently unwrap the hair and roll your head up. Don't do any drastic head flipping right now and don't touch your hair. At this point you can either air dry or diffuse, but you can't touch it until it is completely dry. If you diffuse, don't move the dryer around a lot. Place it and park it until the section is dry.
Step 6: Once the hair is all the way dry, flip over again and gently fluff it! Flip back over and gently pull down on individual curls to define and place them.
Some other tips:
*Sleep on a satin pillowcase
*Add baking soda to the shampoo every 2-3 weeks
*Rinse hair with apple cider vinegar + water once a month for shine
*Take a multivitamin with Biotin
*On day two spray with water and gently pull the curls to redefine.
*Go see a curl advocate like Jamie!!
*If Diva Curl isn't in your budget, there is a similar line at Target called Curls.
I hope that this post gives encouragement to some of you curly gals out there. Jamie remembered seeing me in World Market and told me that she thought to herself, "I bet she doesn't know how beautiful her hair can be."
I love the curls so much that I don't even notice the 10 inches she cut off, and now I feel like I can face this next surgery with one less obstacle. So yay for that!
Thanks for reading! Do you have a curly strategy? I would love to know!